Her Last Word
by Padfootsgal1
Summary: Usagi is depressed, whatll she do? Mabe...Suicide? Seiya/Usagi VERY ANGUSTY Ch3 up and Done
1. The Suicide

Her Last Word

                                                            By Padfootsgal

A/n this is sad, and REALLY Seiya and Usagi. So if you don't like Seiya and Usagi, its not suggested reading. I'm sooooooo sorry bout all the mamoru-bashing, I just needed it to get the story in the right mood. I really do like mamoru…a little. I'm also sorry its short, but it'll have 2 more chapters for anyone who actually LIKES this.

    Disclaimer: I don't own sailormoon, I just own this depressing story. Errrgs

   She sat down in a chair, convinced she had done all she could, but it was too much to bear. She wrote three letters, one to all the senshi, her will, and one to Seiya. Not one to Mamoru, no he caused her this daily hell she lived in. He was the reason she was doing this. She couldn't even bear to try to birth chibiusa, not to that….. monster. Something had happened after the starlights left Earth to Kinmoku, something that shouldn't have happened. She became depressed, and mamoru, her wonderful mamo-chan, had started drinking, and then beating Usagi when he got real drunk. It was horrible, the way he had started mistreating her. Usagi was also worried mamoru was going to lose his job, he was skipping a lot lately. Well, no more worries.

    A lone tear trickled down her cheek.

    She took the knife she brought from the kitchen, the one she used to carve pumpkins with all her friends, the same knife her mom cut her cake with, all of those happy childhood memories. 

    She brought the knife up gently, like it was made of glass, saying the last word she ever said in life. She stabbed the knife deep in her chest, the echoes of her last word drifting around the dead woman.  

…………Seiya……….   


	2. The Letters

Her last word

Ch. 2 the letters

By Padfootsgal

Disclamer: I don't own bishoujo senshi sailormoon, Naoko Takeuchi does, but I own Naoko Takeuchi!! MUHAHAHAHAHAH!…and pigs fly.*sigh*

A/n I'm back with a longer chapter. I don't mean to be mean to Mamoru, he just has to be an asshole in this story. He really isn't like that in my opinion. Gomen 'bout this chapter taking a bit to get out also, but I couldn't get depressed enough to sit down and write. THEN, fanfic went down. THEN my computer went crazy and we had to re-upload it and I didn't have word anymore!!!!!!! So here it is  **********************************************************************************************

 Dear Minako, Makoto, Ami, Rei, Haruka, Michru, Hotaru, Setstuna, ChibiUsa, (if you are there), and the Starlights,

   You are probably wondering why I did this, and I have a perfectly good reason for it, but that later. I am extremely sorry for doing this, I must be shirking my duty as a sailor senshi, but you will find a new leader. Rei, perhaps, or Ami, or maybe Setsuna. You can decide. I am glad to have met you all and lived through all the experiences that we've lived through. I am sure, eventually Sailormoon will be reborn in another body. But not in Tsukino Usagi's body. I couldn't live as being Sailormoon, and eventually neo queen Serenity. It overruled my life, I had to follow sailormoons destiny more than what Usagi wanted to do. And now, I am sorry minna, but I had to do this. Please, even though mamoru beating me is a big factor in this decision, the fact that he was ruining my peace, don't hold him responsible for this. Many things factored into this, some which are personal and some like mamoru and not being able to be Usagi. Please, also Chibiusa, I am sorry if by doing this I have made you not be born. Many would consider it murder, but I just couldn't have you. Mamoru was too horrible to me to even think about having you. Gomen nasai, Chibiusa-chan. I love you. and minna, rember I love all of you but couldn't bear to live in the pain I lived in, and if it continued onto you, it would be unbearable.

 Love always,

 Tsukino Usagi or Sailormoon

    Ami finished reading out loud the letter in a quavering voice, wiping away tears as she finished. The senshi the letter was addressed to, minus the starlights, were sitting in a circle at the outers apartment. Minako, usually the cheerful one, was sober and quiet, seeming to sink into her body. Rei looked like the fire in her had gone out. Makoto was hugging a pillow to her body, seemingly paralyzed in sadness. Michru was holding little Hotaru in her lap, trying unsuccessfully to stop both of their tears. Haruka sat alittle apart from everyone, as if trying to separate her emotions. Setstuna sat stiffly, sadness radiating off her despite the firm mask she put on. Usagis suicide had hit all of them hard, because they were all closer to her than they thought. 

Usagis mother had found her dead when she came home from dropping Shingo off at a baseball game. She called the police, and soon all of Usagis friends knew. They called an emergency senshi meeting at 2 a.m. and read the letter titled to them.

   "we have to tell them, her parents," Ami suddenly said after the space of silence.

   "what?" asked Setstuna.

   "that's she sailormoon, you know," Ami replied, "they _should_ know." 

   "of course," was the reply. Setstuna and Ami seemed to be the only ones who could talk. 

   "what about Chibiusa?" was Hotarus first comment, said worriedly.

   "I've sent her to the past, or the present as of now, she should be here soon."  Everyone then started to look around, hoping, praying that Chibiusa would appear and tell them she was alive, that Usagi hadn't killed herself, that everything was perfect. What they got was a knock on the door. Rei walked, trance-like, to the door and answered. Everyone heard a startled gasp, and rapid rushed speaking. Rushing in, Rei announced, "The starlights and princess Kakyuu are here" Setstuna rushed up to them, saying, "I am extremely glad you could come. I sent for them once I found out, so they could be here." She explained to everyone.

   As the Kinmoku senshi filed in, Ami noticed that Seiya seemed extremely upset. She filed it away in her head for inspection later. Now they needed to talk to the newcomers. They were ushered to a seat, and then the princess started to speak.

   "so what setstuna told us was true, what usagi did?" she asked skirting around the word _suicide._

   "Hai" Haruka said her first word since everyone had arrived at the apartment, her voice tear-filled. 

   "where is Mamoru?" Seiya asked impatiently, "shouldn't he be here?" he looked like he was about to say something else, but Kakyuu put her hand lightly on his arm, restraining him. He calmed visibly under his princesses touch. 

   "this is senshi business," Setstuna replied coolly "he is not a sailor senshi. This letter was only addressed to us." Ami handed Seiya the letter, who read it with the others looking over his shoulder to read it. Then another knock came at the door. Rei answered it again. "Chibiusa-chan!" everyone heard her exclaim. The y both came in, Rei looking glad chibiusa was there, chibiusa looking tired. 

   "Chibiusa!" hotaru exclaimed, hurrying over to the weak girl, "whats wrong?"  

   "setstuna came for me, but had to leave soon after. In the future everything is a mess. No one knows what is going on, and momma is fading away, whats wrong?" chibiusa looked worried as she announced this. Everyone looked around, wondering who was going to explain this to chibiusa. Setsuna, stepped forward, saying softly "usagi took her life." Then Seiya came over and handed chibiusa the letter. She read it quietly to herself, tears streaming down her face.

   "I love you too Usagi-chan, I love you." she softly said. Then she gave a gasp and sat down heavily on the couch. "ill fade away! No, ill fade away!" as she said this, she started to flicker. 

   "NO!" Hotaru screamed. "not you too." Everyone watched in horror as chibiusa flickered away to nothing. "She's gone." Hotaru whispered "my only friend is gone" 

**********************************************************************************************

   Everyone silently left the apartment, extremely sobered by what they had seen happen. Ami remembered Usagis other letter. She hurried over to Seiya and handed him a letter. "this was the other letter Usagi wrote, its addressed to you." she softly told him. He took the letter, and hurried home.

**********************************************************************************************

   'Why won't they leave me ALONE' Seiya thought as he was put in the constant attentions of Taiki, Yaten, and Kakyuu. He voiced this question to Taiki, who said simply, "we're worried about you, Seiya" Seiya glared. When he FINALLY got a space of time alone, he huddled down and took out the letter addressed to him.

       Dear Seiya, 

   I have now realized something. Mamoru has never loved me back with the love I gave him, the love and the devotion that comes from the heart, not knowledge. Knowledge that he had to marry me to rule crystal Tokyo. See, that was to be our future. So I believe that he has always just loved from that knowledge. Seiya, I am sorry I did not realize that the pure love, from the heart, that was what you had given me. Now it is too late, and all I can do is stop the fall, falling into an unreal life. Seiya, I hope this does not hurt you more. In fact, I hope I have not hurt you too much, not loving you. Aishieru.

    Usagi       

   Seiya held the letter and cried for the first time since he had left earth.

********************************************************************************************** 

 a/n this sounds piggy but please review and give opinions! 1 more chapter to go now.


	3. The Realization(of Pure Love)

Her Last Word

Ch3. The Realization

By Padfootsgal

Diclaimer: I own a bunch of nothing, except the plot. 

A/n YAY! Gomen bout the long wait, my muse ran away *shows muse which looks like a small, angry monkey, now taped to her wrist* but I got it back and can finally write! This chaper is not a very happy one, but its alittle…satisfying. And sappy a bit too. I liked it ^^

*********************************************************************************************

   It was the day after Seiya read Usagis letter. He thought about that letter. Did she mean it?  Mamoru didn't love her from the heart? But yet, knowing this, she still loved him? His head whirled with those questions. He sighed, deciding to figure it all out later, and to just try his hardest to comfort everyone else. 

**********************************************************************************************

     Three days later was Usagis funeral. It was fairly small, consisting of the senshi, her family, and close friends. Mamoru was too busy to come. '_No surprise there._'  Was Seiyas reaction when he heard that Mamoru was not going to be at the furneral. Seiya had a feeling he was going to be with that woman he saw Mamoru with at the grocery store. He had been furious when he saw Mamoru with that woman, figuring that Mamoru had been probably cheating on Usagi. But then Princess Kakyuu laid a hand on his shoulder, a gesture she did often to calm him down. "He isn't worth your wrath. He will never be completely loved, that is enough punishment for him, Seiya. Don't start worthless fights." So Seiya ignored him and told no one what he saw. 

     The whole ceremony was quiet and sober. When Usagis casket was lowered into the ground, Seiya barley stifled a sob. His princess looked at him compassionately, and gave his hand a squeeze. Almost everone there was crying, and those who weren't were near it. No one stayed for long after the ceremony. They all left to their private places to mourn Usagi by themselves. Seiya stayed, and stared at the grave, and ran the words of her letter, her last words to him, over in his head again and again. He suddenly turned and started walking briskly, not sure of where he was going, just glad to be walking aound.

**********************************************************************************************

     Seiya sat down on a bench, breathing in the cool night air deeply. He walked all around the town, and ended up at the park. The funeral, and Usagis letter got him thinking. Was he a reason she killed herself? Could he have come to earth again, and prevented this? He sat so long thinking that he fell asleep on the bench. In his dream- well he _thought_ it was a dream, a beautiful woman with white hair pulled into odangos stood in front of him.

     "Usagi? But aren't you-" Seiya began, but the woman cut him off smoothly.

     "I am not Usagi, I am, in fact her mother from her past life as a princess, I am Queen Selenity. I am here to tell you of your pure love. Both you and Usagi had a pure love for each other, deep in your hearts. And both of you came to realize this. This pure love that is shared by two people is rarer than you would believe."  

     "Then… why did she take her life?" Seiya questioned Queen Selenity. What could she reply to that, the question that even Usagis letter did not satisfy completely, what was constantly on his mind?

     "I believe that she realized deep down, subconsciously, that this love couldn't occur if She was Sailormoon and you were Sailor Star Fighter. She used other problems and stresses in her life as her reasons and then killed herself." Seiya stared at the Queen in shock, realizing the truth of what she said. 

     "So, should-should I kill myself too?" he asked. 

     "Iie," the Queen said with a faint smile, "You should live out your life happily, and perhaps you will meet her again some other time."  'Demo-does my life have meaning with out her? She has always been constantly on my mind, how can I live without her?' Seiya wondered in his head. But he said nothing to Queen Selenity. He sat, contemplating what he could do. Of course, he had lived without Usagi for all that time after the fight with Galaxia, but he had thought she was in good hands with Mamoru. Obviously he had been wrong, and look what happened.  

     "Live with what has happened. Use your love towards Usagi as energy towards life. Never give that love up, and you may see her someday." She whispered this to Seiya, gave him a gentle kiss on the check and walked away. 

**********************************************************************************************

     Seiya then woke, and found he was smiling, for the first time since he had got too earth. A faint smile, yes, but one just the same. Obviously Queen Selenitys words helped, even if she was just a dream. He looked up into the sky, and noticed it was it was a full moon. Fort he first time, he spotted the bunny on the moon. [1] He then realized, looking at the bunny on the moon Usagi would always be with him, in spirit at least. He would try his hardest to life his life out without her, as he was sure she would want him too. Seiya swore to himself, when he died, he would be with Usagi, somehow. "Aishieru, Usagi," he murmured, still staring at the moon, "Aishieru"

     A woman standing behind the bushes smiled and quickly turned and walked away from the boy, her long white dress and hair flowing behind her. Fate had tried to fight her, but pure love had a ferocity that got what truly should happen, and this was no exception. Her sister would be angry, but that was a disadvantage to being pure love, sister to fate. Anyway, this couple was perfect for each other, too perfect for this chance. She headed home, glad her work was done. This love would last eien ni (forever) yes, all through time it would last. 

      "Aishieru, Seiya"

      "Aishieru, Usagi"

***********************************************************************************************

*sniff sniff* awww kawaii! Now that im done REVIEW! I'd also like to thank all those nice people who reviewed! Not one flame! Its so nice! ^_____^ Oh and kel, your account name is Keladrey, I checked.

[1] Usagi means the rabbit on the moon in Japanese, like the man on the moon? Well in Japan there is a rabbit on the moon, which I think really suits Usagi as a name, cause she likes bunnies and is sailormoon!


End file.
